Sunday, October 11, 2009

Today I Feel GORGEOUS....

Okay, so I had been having a bit of a blah day.

I have been very lonely for a few days. More so than usual.

My son went on a trip with his NJROTC group to a local military base. He has been gone since Wednesday morning, and didn't get home until about eight o'clock last night. He was exhausted, and ate, went to sleep, and was up and gone to church before I ever crawled out of bed this morning.

HE has been out of town working. HE visited Wednesday night after work for about an hour of hand holding and cuddling before HE had to head home and get some sleep because HE was heading out of town for work early the next morning. HE is still out of town. HE works very long hours, and is often gone for a week or more at a time, and when HE is gone I miss HIM. Terribly. (When I refer to HIM as being out of town, what I mean by that is that HE is not with me, nor is HE at HIS home with HIS wife. HE lives in a town about an hour and a half away from me.)

HE has been calling me, HE always does, as often as possible. If HE has five minutes during work, HE calls. On HIS way from the plant to the motel HE calls. HE showers, eats, and calls. We have more conversation on HIS out of town trips than we do when HE is here spending the nights with me. But, I still miss HIM like crazy.

Anyway, so that is where I have been. Missing the two men in my life terribly! My son, and HIM. And feeling well, BLAH!

And then I logged on to my blog and got a wonderful surprise! *insert a HUGE SMILEY FACE HERE*

I was awarded a Gorgeous Blogger Award.

If I had posted pictures of myself and received this award it probably would not have meant nearly as much to me. But I haven't, at least none where you see my face. So, that means someone thinks my "soul" is gorgeous! Because that is what people see when they read my blog. They see my soul. And I am honored to receive this! THANK YOU, SUE!!! You have made my day!

I feel even more honored because it came from someone whose soul I think is beautiful based on the little bit of her life and thought processes I have seen reading her blog.

I have never gotten a blog award before, so I am not sure what I am supposed to do about it. I read her page and it seems that I am supposed to tell six random things about myself... hmm... okay...

1.) I grew up in Los Angeles, lived for far too long in Iowa, and finally have ended up in North Carolina. I like it here, I think I will stay.

2.) I have three living children. I am however a mother of five. I suffered a midterm miscarriage with my first child, and my 11 year old is the survivor of a set of identical twins. My daughter passed away when she was two days old. You can read the story here. I have had a few other VERY early term miscarriages. They were so early that the pregnancy was not confirmed by a doctor, only a home test, and by the time I got to the doctor, the pregnancy had already spontaneously ended. I struggle sometimes how to answer when people ask the question of "How many kids" I have.

3.) I love cheesecake! Strawberry cheesecake! (yes, I needed to try to lighten the mood a bit)

4.) I love pampering the man in my life, and I have found that the more I pamper HIM, the more HE wants to pamper me! I wish I had learned this trick much earlier in life. I always thought men wanted a self-reliant, self-confident, strong EQUAL! I mean, that is what all the women projected in the 80's when I was an impressionable young girl. BE STRONG, BE INDEPENDENT. Who knew that the man that I would fall in love with would be the one who wants me to be the feminine little flower I have always wanted to be treated like! I like having my doors opened for me! I like that HE wants to lead, because deep down, I want to follow! And by having such clearly defined masculine/feminine roles in our relationship, we both get exactly what we want. I adore HIM, and because of my adoration, HE in turn adores me! WIN/WIN!

5.) I give GREAT advice to other people, but I am HORRIBLE at accepting advice from others. I know this. But I seem powerless to change it. And I recently found a quote that I now use as my mantra about advice.... "Attempt not to deceive the god with thy mortal lips. Peer deep within thyself, and ask not questions to which thou already knowest the answer, seek not advice which thou dost not intend to obey." It is from the book The Ten Thousand.

6.) I sleep naked, sometimes I blog naked, sometime I even cook naked or clean the house naked! I do this because even though I am not happy with my body right now, (I have about 50-60 pounds I would love to lose) I still have between 70 to 80 pounds that are GONE for good, and I am working on being comfortable in my own skin, NOTHING but my own skin. I spent so many years feeling so completely disgusting, that I am trying to relearn just being okay with being naked alone!! Getting used to walking around the house naked makes it easier for me to get up out of bed with HIM and just walk to the bedroom door without feeling the need to cover myself from head to toe so HE doesn't see me!

Okay, that was six things, and now in the spirit of the whole "gorgeous" award, here is a picture of me in a moment that I felt beautiful....

There are pictures of me that I LOOK better in, but that was a WONDERFUL day, and I FELT beautiful that day! *smile*

Now I have to pick seven bloggers that I think are gorgeous... Hmmmm... I will be back with that part of the assignment.... That's all for now, Bye!!!

1 comment:

  1. You are gorgeous. Even before I saw the pic I knew!


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